Ottawa Fires Craig Hartsburg

Posted in GM Pro Tip, Owner Pro Tip with tags , , , on February 2, 2009 by Matthew

Pro Tip:  Quit looking for a scapegoat, you suck.

For the second February in a row, the Ottawa Senators have fired their head coach in hopes to turn their season around.  First the problem was Ray Emery, then the problem was John Paddock, and now it’s Craig Hartsburg?  Obviously rookie coach Cory Clouston will turn it around.

Owners take note: lose Bryan Murray, trade Jason Spezza for a handful of young players, and use that cap space to pick up some free agents to help round out your defense, goaltending, and secondary scoring.

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St. Louis Blues vs. Detroit Red Wings

Posted in Goalie Pro Tip with tags , , on February 2, 2009 by Matthew

Pro Tip: Manny, try not to emulate a sieve.

Manny Legace pulled after three weak goals on only eight shots.

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Justice effin’ prevails!

Posted in League Pro Tip with tags , , on January 18, 2009 by Paul

marleaulaser1

As many of you may know, Patrick Marleau was omitted from both the starting, and backup lines for the 2009 all-star game. This should enlighten you to just how ass-backwards the voting system is. He had something like 40 points at that point, and is easily outpacing his best season. As of last night’s game with Detroit, he’s got 49. Dude’s a beast. (seen here, destroying Tiny Ice City)

But wait…

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Yann Danis makes bonehead play on the PK

Posted in Goalie Pro Tip with tags , , , on January 17, 2009 by Paul

Pro tip: Watch out!

Yann Danis of the Islanders gave up the puck behind his own net, shorthanded, and handed an easy goal to New Jersey’s Travis Zajac. WTG.

The Islanders lost 1 – 3.

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Peter Budaj

Posted in Goalie Pro Tip with tags , , on January 15, 2009 by Paul

Pro tip: Make a save, dude.

He gave up four goals on only 25 shots, and had a pitifully weak five-hole. They lost to St. Louis 2 – 5.

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Ty Conklin is a beast

Posted in Fantasy Pro Tip with tags , on January 15, 2009 by Paul

conkblood

Pro tip: Ty Conklin drinks blood.

Detroit’s back-up is definitely playing like a number one starter/man slayer, and earned his fifth shutout on the year, his fourth in his last ten starts. He’s only given up sixteen goals during that stretch.

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Note to the Columbus Blue Jackets

Posted in Coach Pro Tip with tags , on January 14, 2009 by Paul

Pro tip: It’s easy to notice that you guys are lazy when Rick Nash gets put on IR, and you instantly start scoring.

It’s a team effort guys. Don’t expect Nash to win all your games for you.

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Sidney Crosby Take Note

Posted in General Pro Tip on January 11, 2009 by Mike

This is how a real man fights. A real man, doesn’t hit a guy in the dick.

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Leafs take beating from Habs

Posted in Coach Pro Tip with tags , on January 8, 2009 by Matthew

Pro Tip: Pull Toskala, put in Luke Schenn.

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Jarkko Ruutu hungers

Posted in General Pro Tip with tags , , , , on January 7, 2009 by Paul

Senators’ forward, Jarkko Ruutu (best name ever), is under fire for allegedly biting the thumb of Buffalo’s Andrew Peters. He apparently bit so hard, that he was able to puncture the glove and break the skin!

NHL brass is still deciding on what diciplinary action, if any will be taken. They may possibly charge Ruutu with attempting to start an army of hockey playing zombies. I’m fairly certain Bobby Orr tried to do the same thing, so this is all standard boiler plate, really. Pretty sure it’s only a two game suspension.

Pro tip: Don’t piss of Jarkko Ruutu!

update: NHL.com is reporting that Ruutu will be suspended for two games. In other news, I am psychic.

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